Daddy Issues
by Leahrs
Summary: What happens when all of Olivia's worlds come crashing into each other in a very short period of time. Old friends return and Noah decides he doesn't want a Dad but might get one anyway. Story K until Chapter 13...then...well...Ooooo and then there was Chapter 20
1. Chapter 1

Olivia Benson stood in the doorway of her son's room. She might be exhausted; It had taken a lot to manage to be here to tuck Noah in on his first day of second grade, but it was important to her to be here as much as she could for her son.

"Teeth brushed?" She asked as he came sliding around the corner in his socks and slid into her. Her arms automatically wrapping around him as he grabbed onto her legs.

"Yup. See!" He said and showed his teeth as though he were a wild animal baring his teeth before a prey.

Liv smiled and said "Clean and scary." Then hugged Noah and said, "Grab a book sweet boy and into bed."

"Noah giggled as he walked over to his bookshelf and picked out Where the Wild Things Are and climbed into his bed. "Will you read it to me?" Noah asked and blinked purposely at his mother.

Laughing Liv sat on the edge of his bed and said, "Always." She had gotten to the third page, when Noah began to yawn and his eyes started to droop.

"I'm glad it's just us." Noah said sleepily

"Me too." Answered Liv curiously not sure what brought this on.

"Me and Jesse are lucky. No Daddies. Just a Mommy." Noah let out a long yawn and rolled onto his side. His hand snaked out and reached for Liv. "I love you Mommy." he said as he held her hand.

"I love you too baby." Liv said worried about why Noah was worrying about Fathers. "Why don't you want a Daddy?" Liv asked as she gently stroked her son's soft blond curls.

Noah blinked a few times, and then said drowsily, "Sara said she didn't want to go home"he yawned deeply adding, "It was a Daddy day and Her Daddy hurts her."

Liv swallowed hard her instincts as a cop and a mother suddenly went to war inside of her.

"Which Sara?" Liv asked but Noah had already fallen asleep. Liv desperately wanted to wake Noah up and get him to tell her the rest of the answers she needed to help this girl but she knew that she didn't have enough information to help and doubted Noah did either. Leaning down she kissed her son's forehead and whispered, "I'm going to make this right. We're going to help Sara."

Liv stood slowly, smoothed the covers over Noah, then turned, and stepped out of his room shutting his door all but two fingers. Then she sat down on the floor as tears escaped her eyes. Her world had invaded her sons. She never wanted him to worry or be hurt and now somehow he was. Taking a breath she stood walked over to the table, picked up her phone, and called Fin.

"I need you here. Now."

Hearing the tightness in her voice Fin knew it was bad. "Noah?" he asked knowing very few things could cause her to stress like this.

"It's bad." Liv said and her voice cracked just a little.

"I'm coming." Fin said and hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

"Damn Liv." Fin said softly as he sat next to his Captain on her sofa. "I'm sorry."

"I can't be involved in the case."

"Yeah. Bring Noah in tomorrow. Amanda will talk to him." Fin said slowly his mind whirling that little Noah was an outcry witness. "He didn't say anything to Lucy?"

"No. He never mentioned any of the girls in his class to her. He told her about his teacher and his books and his big assignment he's going to have on dinosaurs. But nothing about Sara." Liv rubbed the bridge of her nose. "There were three Sara's in his class last year" Liv sighed and as an afterthought added "and a Sarah-Anne."

"Do you still have last year's class list?" Fin asked hopefully.

"I think it's at work. I never really needed it because of Lucy."

"I'll head over to the station and see if I can find that and I'll see if I can locate anything in the database. I'll be at Noah's school first thing in the morning and we'll get this figured out Liv." Fin said and then looked down at his hands.

"I wish I knew just a little more. I want to wake him up and make him tell me what he knows." Liv said and stood walking over to the window.

"You know better than anyone it's better that he talk naturally and on his own rather than being questioned and pushed. Especially when he's exhausted." Fin watched his friend pace around her apartment and worried for her and her son. "We've got this Cap."

Liv smiled a small smile and turned. "I know you do Sergeant. There's no one better."

The next morning Olivia sat in her bed and tried to figure out what to say to Noah. Sighing she figured straight forward was probably best. Getting up she put on the coffee and then walked into Noah's room. He was still curled up on his side in a small ball. She smiled as she looked at his tiny form and for a moment she was reminded of how he had slept like that when she had first brought him home.

"All right sleepy head." Liv said walking into the room. "Time to wake up."

"fi mo mi mih" Noah mumbled in his sleep. Liv laughed He would definitely be a coffee drinker when he was old enough.

"Sorry sweet boy but you and I have a busy day today and I need you to wake up and get dressed."

Noah rolled over onto his back and cracked one eye and groaned. "no?" he asked

"What if I said you could come into work with me."

Both of Noah's eyes popped open and he sat bolt upright in bed. "Really! For the whole day?"

Liv laughed at the sudden change. "At least until lunch, but I need you to get washed, dressed and get your backpack ready and to the counter in the next 45 minutes."

"Ok." Noah said and then covered his mouth as a yawn escaped him.

Liv smiled as she walked down the hall to grab a quick shower and get herself ready for a very hard day at work.


	3. Chapter 3

Noah ran into the SVU squad room and sat down at what had been Uncle Sonny's desk. He immediately spun the chair. "Look Mom! This can be my desk."

"I see." Liv said with a smile. "Why don't you go into the play room and I'll be in, in a few minutes."

Noah nodded and grabbed his backpack and walked into the small room where his mom kept toys, puzzles and other stuff for the kids she and his Aunt and Uncles helped. He immediately got the cars out and started racing them on the rug.

Liv watched quietly from her office, her right hand gently resting over her heart.

"Hi," Amanda said softly as she walked into Liv's office. "Fin caught me up first thing this morning. You ok?"

Liv nodded and turning said, "I can't believe he's in there."

"I'll go take his statement so he can go home." Amanda said laying a hand on her friends arm. "It'll be ok." Amanda stepped towards the joining door as Liv nodded her eyes on Noah happily playing with the cars.

Stepping into the play room Amanda looked at Noah and smiled, "Hey buddy."

"Aunt Manda!" Noah said happily and ran over to hug her as she quickly shut the door. She scooped him up into a hug and held him close. "Where's Jesse?"

"She and Billie are at school today." She said as she placed Noah back on the floor and stepped back

"Oh. I'm going in late."

"I heard." Amanda said as she followed him over to the cars. "Can I play?"

"Sure!" Noah said and handed her a red sports car and grabbed a truck for himself.

"I hear you don't want to have a Daddy." Amanda said as she pushed her car around the rug.

Noah looked up surprised and then shrugged and said, "No. I don't want Jesse to have one either. We should only have Mommies."

"Why?"

"Daddies can hurt their kids."

"Like Sara?"

"Mom told?" Noah said looking down at his hands

"Yeah. She wants to help Sara. I think you do too."

Noah nodded but didn't look up. He opened his mouth but then shut it again.

"Can you tell me about Sara?"

Noah shook his head. "I promised."

"What did you promise?"

"Not to tell."

"When was that?"

"At late recess. When Sara was crying."

"Why was Sara crying?"

"It was a Daddy day." Noah said so softly Amanda almost didn't hear. "She had to take the green bus."

Amanda nodded and looked over her shoulder at the window where she knew Liv was watching her son struggle with his promise not to tell but his desire to help his friend. She took a slow breath, then stood, and walked over to the corner where the paper with the bodies were pre-drawn on paper.

"Noah?" Amanda said picking up a piece of the paper. "Could you draw me a picture of Sara? That wouldn't be telling would it?"

Noah thought for a minute and then nodded, "I could do it."

"Just draw her yesterday at late recess when you talked to her. What did you see when you looked at her?"

Noah sat at the table and Amanda placed the paper in front of him. Noah first drew Sara's clothes, a red skirt and a white shirt with blue flowers. Then he drew three black braids and colored in her eyes. Next, he colored in her skin a deep brown but left a small gap at each ankle and wrist. He then gave her blue glasses and blue dots on her cheeks. Her lips were pale pink and very thin. Then he picked the black crayon back up, drew a dark line at the edge of the brown by the gap, and filled in the remaining blank space with a bright red.

Amanda felt her breath catch as she looked at the angry red marks on the sad little girl Noah had drawn and knew how bad this had to be.

"This is Sara?" Noah nodded.

"She wears blue glasses?" Noah nodded again,

"Does she always have three braids?" Noah nodded

"and these?" Amanda touched the blue dots

"tears" Noah said his voice a squeak as his lower lip began to tremble.

Amanda looked at her phone which had vibrated. Liv had texted her, 'Sara 2', "Is this Sara 2?" Noah nodded and bit his lip.

"Noah?" Amanda said very softly "what are the red areas?"

"Where her Daddy hurt her." Noah said and the tears began falling, "I'm sorry." Noah leaned over and climbed into Amanda's lap wrapping himself around Amanda holding tight. "I'm so sorry." His hot tears were falling down her shoulder as she held him tightly.

"You did nothing wrong Noah." Liv said her hand on his back. "You've been so brave. We're all proud of you."

"Mama." Noah said turning and climbing into Liv's arms and crying and shaking. He kept apologizing over and over. Olivia stood and walked out of the play room and back to her office. Sitting on the couch she slowly rocked her baby. "Hush. You did good. It'll be ok." She whispered into his soft curls.

Slowly she looked down and saw that he had stopped crying. He had 2 fingers in his mouth and his eyes were shut. Tears were drying on his cheeks and his breathing was evening out. "That's my sweet boy." Liv said and kissed his head gently. She moved him carefully to the couch and covered him with a blanket. "You rest my love. I'm so proud of you." Noah sniffed quietly as Liv kissed him again and rubbed his back as he sighed and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia stepped out of her office and headed over to Amanda's desk. She fought to hold her composure. "Where are we?" She asked, knowing Amanda would have kept moving while she took care of Noah.

"I sent the picture Noah drew to Fin. He spoke to the Principal and they got Sara out of class. Her mother is on the way here, she's an accountant with the IRS. Fin has the Principal and Sara coming here in a black and white. He already called Carisi and got a warrant to pick up the Dad based on what Sara said to him and the Principal."

"Where's the Dad?"

"Work. He's a researcher at Hudson."

"Ok head over there and make sure Dad doesn't do anything stupid." Liv said, "I'll wait here for Sara and her mom."

Amanda grabbed her jacket and headed out. About 5 minutes later Liv saw Noah's Principal walk in holding the hand of a very scared little girl. "Hi. Why don't the two of you come over here." Liv said as she escorted them to the play room.

"Captain Benson, may I speak to you?" Principal Carol asked.

"Of course" Liv said and they shut the door to the play room and stood just outside. "How can I help?" Liv asked.

Principal Carol had all of the questions that every administrator and teacher hit when this happened. "How did this happen? How did we miss this? Why?" Liv offered to go down to the school and talk with her and the teachers and to talk with the students as well if she liked so that the school could begin to heal.

"Sara?" A woman asked walking into the squad room.

Principal Carol walked forward, "She's in here Anne."

Sara's mom ran forward and stopped at the door, "It's true? She's hurt?"

"I need to question her ask her some questions that you are going to find very uncomfortable. It may be easier if you watch from out here." Liv explained.

Principal Carol put her arm around Anne and led her over to the window. To watch as Olivia walked in and sat down with Sara.

Liv and Sara talked and drew and Sara told Liv about her time with Daddy and showed her the marks she had shown Noah. Eventually Liv made arrangements for Sara and her mom to go to the hospital with another officer so Sara could be examined. Luckily Anne was so focused on Sara she hadn't noticed her ex-husband being escorted into interrogation by Fin and Amanda.

A few hours later, Lucy had picked up Noah and taken him home, Fin was sitting at his desk filling out paperwork, Phillip, the Dad was in the cage and Amanda was just returning from the hospital when a young man tapped her shoulder as she came in at the door to the squad.

"Can you tell me where Captain Benson is?" his clear blue eyes sparkled as he spoke and Amanda couldn't help but smile.

"Sure." Amanda said. "Follow me."

Amanda walked back to Liv's office, knocked and then opened the door. "Liv?" she said peeking her head in.

Olivia waved her in and Amanda stepped just inside the door, the young man being forced to stand in the doorway. "Sara and Anne are all set. And there's someone here to see you."

Liv stood and walked around her desk and looked at where Amanda was blocking the entrance to her office. "I'm Captain Benson, can I help you?"

"I'm your new Detective. I was told to report to you."

Amanda immediately stepped aside and Olivia put out her hand. "Nice to meet you. Where are you coming in from?"

"The 5-5." The young man said.

"Good house. Great reputation and amazing officers." Liv replied with a smile. As she held her hand out for his file.

"Amanda why don't you get him settled and then we can all meet in about 15 minutes." Liv said.

"Sure." Amanda said turning, "I'm Rollins." She said offering her hand.

"Richard." The young man said following Amanda back out.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week since Richard had joined the team and he seemed to be fitting in well. He was a polite young man. Green, as a Detective but empathetic and with a strong desire to learn and do right by the victim. Fin had taken a shine to the boy and they were pairing up fairly often, which was fine with Olivia as she found herself just a little shaken every time she looked into Richard's clear blue eyes.

Sitting on the sofa, Olivia gave herself a slight shake just thinking about it. She heard her phone ring, reached over to the coffee table, and grabbed the phone and remote. She muted the music she was playing and looked at the screen. She didn't know the number.

"Benson." She said automatically, even though she was at home and off duty, it was most likely a work call.

"Hi Olivia."

Just hearing the voice sent Olivia back in time nearly 10 years. She felt her chest tighten. She closed her eyes and controlled her breathing. "I figured you'd be calling at some point." She said with a small smile. "How are you?" she asked not asking what she really wanted to know.

"I'm good. We're all doing well." Kathy said, "I honestly, think much of that is due to you."

"I'm not sure how you got there, but thank you."

"You are Elliot's best friend. You were there for our kids when we couldn't be. Just knowing that Richard is in your squad now let's me sleep better at night." Kathy said

"Was, Kathy. Was." Liv said sadly. "I was Elliot's best friend and he was mine. But he left and never looked back."

"His feelings towards you have never changed Liv. Trust me."

Olivia swallowed hard. She felt like a rock had just been lodged in her throat and a cannon placed in her stomach. Sitting down she said, "As for Richard, he's the best parts of the two of you. He's a fantastic officer, and is going to be an amazing Detective once he's a little more experienced. You have nothing to worry about."

"Thank you."

Suddenly there was an odd silence between the two and Olivia didn't know what to say. She wished Noah was awake so he could distract her and she could hang up.

"Liv," Kathy said hesitantly, trying to build her courage to do what she knew was the right thing. "The kids are throwing Elliot a surprise birthday party this weekend. They, well we, were hoping you'd come."

Liv blanched at the thought of spending an afternoon once again with the Stabler family after all these years. Talk about being transported back in time. She shut her eyes and for a moment remembered other times she'd been invited to family events and had gone. "Kathy it's been too long. It wouldn't be right."

"He's finally ready Liv. He's been through a lot but, he's ready to see you again. He even said so to the kids recently. Richard still hasn't told him about his promotion because of everything that happened but,…"

"Wait. Kathy, I'm missing something here. What happened?" Liv asked suddenly very aware of Kathy's words and what she wasn't saying.

"The last shooting, Jenna. It broke him Liv. It was just too much. He has PTSD. He didn't walk away from you. He had to get help and because of what he was going through well, he left New York for a while and did some intensive treatment with a VA for a while. When he came back, he was embarrassed and didn't want you or anyone from the squad to know. For a while, he wouldn't even talk to Richard because he had joined the force. He felt…." Kathy stopped as her voice cracked

"Oh God, Kathy. I'm so sorry." Liv said and put a hand over her mouth. "I…."

"Lately, he's been talking about wanting to see you. To explain to you. He misses you Liv."

Liv nodded her head and then realized Kathy was on the phone and couldn't see her. "When, Where?"

Kathy gave Liv the details for the party and told her to bring Noah as there were going to be several children of various ages around and he would have other kids to play with and she was sure Elliot would want to meet her son.

Hanging up the phone Liv walked into her room, looked at her dresser, and picked up the picture that had been sitting on it for 18 years. It was her and Elliot in the squad room looking at a folder. She was seated on the desk and he was leaning over behind her reading over her shoulder. There was nothing special or unique about it. They had stood like that a 100 times or more but someone had snapped that picture one day and she'd come across it at some point and it just always made her feel, so she'd always left it out. It had pissed off Brian and driven Tucker insane and that had been even more fun. Right now though looking at that picture was making her feel sad and guilty.


	6. Chapter 6

The following Saturday Olivia stood in Queens on the sidewalk outside of Elliot's house and took a slow steadying breath. She looked down at Noah and smiled, "Remember what we talked about right?"

"Yes." He said with a slight air of exasperation. "We're at your old partner's birthday party. You don't know how long we're going to be here because he's been sick and you haven't seen him in a long time. I can play with the other kids who are here." Noah kicked some pebbles on the ground. "You're sure he's nice?"

Liv smiled fondly remembering, "I'm sure. I'm also sure he's going to be very happy to meet you."

Noah gave her a look that said he clearly had his doubts.

Just then, the front door opened and a young woman in jeans and a t-shirt with long blond hair came out. "Olivia!" she squeaked and ran down the walk and hugged Liv tightly.

Liv was taken aback but quickly embraced the tall, thin woman. Pulling back, she looked into a face that she had known at 10 years old, "Kathleen?" she said with a smile.

The woman, now 30 nodded, "I'm so glad you're here!" She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a group text. ' Mo, Liz, Dickie come here!'

This was immediately followed by a responding beep 'Richard'. Laughing Kathleen showed Liv the text and the following responses

Liz: 'Whatever'

Mo: 'She here?'

Kathleen:' Yes Kitchen Door! NOW!'

Liv laughed and said, "I guess somethings never change."

Kathleen shook her head and then looked down and seeing Noah looked back at Liv and asked "is this him?"

Liv nodded and said, "This is Noah."

Kathleen automatically knelt down so she and Noah were eye to eye and said, "It's nice to meet you. Your mom and my dad are best friends that makes us family."

Noah smiled and nodded but still stood close to Liv.

"Would you like to know a secret about your mom?" Kathleen asked seeing that he was shy and nervous. When Noah nodded, she said in a stage whisper, "Your mom is a superhero."

"No she's not. She's just a Police Officer." Noah said laughingly.

"Trust me." Kathleen said with a smile. "She saved my life several times. "She's even saved my whole family. Some of them don't even know that she saved them. That's how much of a superhero your mom is."

Noah looked up at his mom with huge round eyes, then back at Kathleen, "Really?" he asked slightly disbelievingly."

"I promise!" Kathleen said. "None of us would be here if it weren't for your mom."

"WOW!" Noah breathed impressed and leaned his head against Liv's side happily. "See no Dad's. Just Mom!" He said happily

Liv shook her head as she took Noah's hand and followed Kathleen inside and through the house. As they got to the back door she saw Richard step in through the door.

"Hi Cap." He said with a grin.

Liv smiled, "We're off duty you better call me Liv." She teased. Richard laughed as Kathleen stepped in front of him and positioned her self next to her sisters. Liv stood just behind Richard and maneuvered Noah behind her. Leaning down she whispered, "Shhh. We have to be quiet for the surprise."

Noah nodded and peaked around her legs just a little as they all stepped slowly outside.

"Dad." Lizzie said brightly, a huge smile on her face. "we all got together and got you a little something for your birthday."

"Having all of you here at the same time is present enough." Elliot said

Liv felt her heart jump at the familiar warm tone.

"We're pretty sure you're going to want this." Maureen said

"You need this." Kathleen added

Kathy stood at the far end of the yard watching the reveal and was biting her lip to keep from laughing at her children's obvious joy at reuniting their father with his former partner. Elliot looked over his shoulder at Kathy who smiled at him and winked.

"Happy Birthday El." Liv said softly

Elliot turned around and looked at Liv standing in the space his kids had made between them. His mouth hung open as he slowly stood up. "Liv?" He whispered as she step forward and wrapped her arms around him.

Elliot found himself clinging to her. Holding onto her for support. He wasn't even embarrassed when a tear slipped down his cheek and landed on her collarbone. Liv's hand slid up his back and her fingers began to sooth his hair as she held him close.

Leaning just a little closer so no one else could hear she whispered, "I've missed you, you ass."


	7. Chapter 7

Elliot laughed and then noticed Noah standing behind her squinting up at him.

"Who is this?" Elliot asked stepping back and bending down to get closer to Noah's height.

Liv smiled, knowing how much Noah would mean to Elliot after all of their talks. "This is Noah, my son." Liv said and laid her hand on Noah's head lovingly.

"Hi". Noah said cautiously.

"I'm very happy to meet you." Elliot said " but I bet you'd be happier playing than standing around with a bunch of boring adults."

Noah nodded and Elliot smiled and pointed to where Kathy was standing. "See that lady? Her name is Kathy, she's my wife and if you ask she'll bring you over to where all the kids are playing."

Noah looked at Liv who nodded and quickly ran off.

Liv smiled and turned as she felt Elliot take her hand as he led her to a picnic table.

The two sat side by side heads together as they happily caught each other up on everything.

About 20 minutes had passed when suddenly Noah came running towards Liv, clearly upset. He was followed closely by 12 year old Eli, who had a bloody lip.

Liv intercepted Noah and grabbed him up in her arms quickly checking him for injuries. Not finding any she whispered "What happened?"

"He's a jerk." Noah whispered back.

Elliot grabbed Eli's arm and asked him the same thing. "He asked me who I was. I said I was your son. He said he didn't have a Dad. Dad's were bad. I said you could be a jerk sometimes but mostly ok. And he told me he didn't like Dad's they were bad. Dad's were jerks. so I shoved him but just a little. Not hard, and he punched me."

"NOAH!" Liv exclaimed

Shrugging Noah turned and looked at Liv and said, "He said."

Liv pulled Noah to the side to talk to him while Elliot took Eli in to clean him up and have his own discussion.

Eventually the two friends reconnected and figured out a way to handle both situations in one simple move. Smiling, they hugged and agreed to meet up soon.


	8. Chapter 8

The following weekend found Olivia and Noah back at the Stabler house. Olivia stood in the kitchen with Kathy while Noah played with Maureen's sons and Eli. "I can't believe how big he's gotten." Liv said watching how carefully Eli was with the younger kids.

"He's a good boy." Kathy said, then paused and added, "a lot like Kathleen though." She swallowed a bit nervously.

Liv reached over and touched Kathy's shoulder understanding her fear. "It'll be ok. You know the warning signs now."

"What are you two talking about?" Elliot said conspiratorially as he walked into the room and immediately kissed Kathy lightly on the cheek.

Kathy and Olivia smiled at each other. "I was telling Olivia that it's nice having her back here. It feels good having the family back together."

Liv smiled and picked up on Kathy's subtle hint. "It's nice to see Noah in a different setting." Liv said " Hopefully, this will help him get past his Daddy stage." Liv added silently to herself.

Elliot smiled and said, "There's always a group here. Between the 5 kids plus their spouses or other halves and the 3 grandkids…" Elliot shrugged and bumped Liv with his shoulder.

Liv turned and the two of them smiled at each other. "Sometimes the two of you are as bad as Dickie and Elizabeth." Kathy said laughing throwing the dish rag at them and walking happily to the living room to see what her assorted brood were up too.

Later while everyone was seated around the table eating Liv's phone rang. She answered it automatically, as she stepped away from the table.

"Benson."

"May I speak to Olivia please?" a strange female voice with a light Spanish accent asked.

Stepping further into the living room, Liv replied, "This is Olivia. Who is this?"

"My name is Carol Ortega. I am a nurse at Mercy Medical. I have a man here who was in a very bad accident and he's been asking for Olivia. He does not have any ID on him. May I send you a picture?"

"Of course." Liv said immediately thinking of Fin, Cragen, Munch

"I should tell you he's been hurt so the picture is going to be hard to look at."

"I'm a Police Captain, I've seen worse, I'm sure." Liv assured her as she pulled the phone away from her ear and watched those three little dots blink back and forth.

Suddenly a picture popped up and Liv gasped. Elliot jumped up at the sound and headed towards her.

"Rafa." Liv whispered looking at the picture


	9. Chapter 9

Olivia sat on the plane as it made it's final decent into San Antonio, going over the events of the last 24 hours. Shutting her eyes she was back in Elliot's house and she felt him step beside her and place his hand at the small of her back leading her to the sofa. Noah was suddenly on her lap as she listened to Nurse Carol explain that Rafael had been in a severe car accident about 40 miles outside of San Antonio and had been air lifted to the hospital because they had a level 1 trauma center.

Olivia remembered calling Lucia as she drove home and hearing her promise to care for Noah since she was unable to fly because of the blood clots she'd been having in her legs. Lucia arrived at her house shortly after she and Noah had and had already arranged for a flight and car for Olivia to get to Rafael. Noah packed a bag and was going to stay with Lucia, for a few days. Smiling Liv heard Lucia's last words when they left each other at the airport, "You don't have to worry about Noah Olivia. Just take care of my boy and I'm taking care of yours."

Without even knowing how, Liv found herself in a car and driving to Mercy Medical in San Antonio. Arriving at the desk she asked for Rafael Barba's room and was instructed to go to the fourth floor.

She arrived on the floor and went straight to the nurses station and introduced herself.

"It's wonderful to meet you. Follow me." The young woman said standing, "Mr. Barba has been very groggy since arriving here following surgery but he keeps saying, Liv. I'm going to assume that's you."

Liv smiled and nodded as they entered room 419. It was a private room with a large window that looked out onto the city. Rafael was laying in the middle of the bed a blanket carefully tucked around his right leg. His left leg was uncovered as a metal cage was built around it. He had a heart monitor attached as well as a nasal canula. Liv felt her hand cover her mouth.

"If you need anything." Anna, the nurse aide said softly, "Just ring."

Liv nodded again and grabbed the chair and pulled it up next to Rafa's bed and sat down. "What did you do?" Liv whispered as she took his hand in hers. She kissed his scrapped and bruised knuckles and then held his hand in hers close to her heart and shut her eyes over their joined hands.

After a while, Liv felt something touching her hair and shifted. She looked up into Rafael's deep brown eyes and sighed. "Hey." His left hand was reaching across his body to touch her face.

"Liv?" he asked

"You didn't have to total a car and a truck to get me down here Rafael." Liv said softly.

"You're really here?"

"Where else would I be?" she said as she let go of his hand and softly grazed her knuckles along his jaw line.

Rafael blinked slowly. "It must be bad." He said a tease in his voice and then tried to shift to see Liv better. "Definitely bad."

Liv jumped at his groan of pain. "Rafa. Don't. You just had surgery."

"Last thing I remember was getting into the Uber leaving the South Texas Center." Rafa said his voice slowly getting stronger the more he used it.

"Apparently you were half way between there and here when a truck rolled through a stop sign and your Uber got in its way." Liv explained. "Rafa, you're lucky to be alive."

"I told you I'd get you out to visit." Rafael teased.

"Yeah, well, as soon as you get the ok. I'm taking you home and letting your mother deal with you." Liv retorted, though she found her fingers combing his hair back from his face, the way he liked it to look.

"That's fair." Rafael said and found his eyes drifting off. "Liv. Will you stay?" He asked as he took her hand and interlaced their fingers.

"I'm not going anywhere Rafa." Liv said as she watched him yawn. "Just rest. I'll be here."

Rafael smiled and with his free hand touched her cheek. He watched as her eyes closed at his touch. He slowly pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear, enjoying how she leaned in so he didn't have to stretch so far. He let his hand rest on the side of her face, his thumb lightly dancing over her cheek. Eventually, Liv reached up and covered his hand with hers and sliding it over slightly kissed his palm and then squeezed his hand as she laid it on the bed and held it.

Next time Rafael woke it was dark in the room and Liv's head was next to his shoulder and she was sound asleep. He slowly adjusted his position so that his arm was behind her, keeping her close to him. She sighed in her sleep and snuggled in just a bit closer, he smiled when she placed her hand on his chest in her sleep. He placed his hand over hers and felt her squeeze his fingers. Rafael felt himself drifting off to sleep again but knew he wanted to say this one thing now, in case he never had the nerve to say it while they were both awake.

"Te amo, mi Livia" he whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

"Good Morning!" Chirped the nurse as she walked in at 6am three days later.

Rafael grumbled something incoherent from the bed.

"I know you're not a morning person." The nurse said as she reached over to take his pulse. "But I have good news. You're being released today."

Rafael cracked open an eye and looked at the nurse, "It's not nice to tease an injured man, Ana."

"Not teasing." She replied. "I've already called your girlfriend and she's on her way over. She said to tell you she's making flight reservations and calling your mother and Noah."

"Ana." Rafael said shifting in the bed, "I tell you every day, Liv is not my girlfriend."

"And I tell you every day, that she should be. You two are in love with each other. You're just each afraid to be the first one to say it."

Rafael grumbled as Ana stuck a thermometer in his mouth.

Pulling the thermometer and making some quick notes, Ana said, "Coffee and breakfast should be up in about 45 minutes. Do you need anything before then?"

"Not to be awake?"

Laughing Ana walked out of the room.

A few hours later, Olivia walked into the room to find Rafael sitting in a recliner with his leg stretched out in front of him. "Good Morning. Ready to leave Texas for a little while?"

"I'm ready to go home. That's for certain." Rafael said as he reached his hand out for the bag Liv had.

"I brought you a change of clothes to wear home and I packed up some of your more comfortable looking stuff. I figure once your 100% you can decide what your next step is and we can worry about packing up your apartment here." Liv paused realizing what she'd just said. "Unless after you want to come back here."

"No, I told you Liv, I want to be home. I can do this work almost anywhere. These detention centers are all over the country now. I can fight for these women and children at home in New York. It'll take some time but I'll figure it out." What he almost said but didn't was that he wanted to be with her and Noah.

"Well I know several people who will be glad to have you home." Liv said smiling.

Rafael reached his hand out and took hers. "Are you one?"

Liv swallowed as she looked at their hands. "Rafa." She whispered

"Liv?"

Liv took a beat and licked her lips. A thousand responses flooded her mind, "I want you home." She finally said looking into his eyes, "Talking to you at night while you were 1000 miles away just isn't the same as knowing you're only a few blocks away and…" Liv paused

Rafael nodded he knew what she meant. He touched her cheek. His fingers slid slowly into her hair. He looked at the golden brown locks, as they slid between his fingers. Liv leaned into his touch, she let her head follow her hair and rest in his palm. Her hand came to rest on his cheek slowly bring him closer. She could feel his breath on her lips and her lips parted a little in response.

"Are you ready to get changed?" Ana asked as she stepped into the room. "OOPS." She added and turned around.

Liv and Rafael immediately dropped their hands and leaned back. "Yeah. I'm ready to go home." Rafael said.

Liv nodded and then added, "I'll wait for you in the hall." She stepped away and walked past Ana who smiled embarrassedly and then said, "We won't be long."


	11. Chapter 11

It was late by the time they had landed at JFK, gotten their bags and gotten a car to take them home. Unfolding the wheelchair on the curb Liv helped Rafael into the sit and propped up his leg and then let them inside the building and into the elevator.

"All right so we'll call your mom in the morning and have Lucy bring Noah over tomorrow after school." Liv agreed as the elevator opened on her floor. Opening her door she turned the wheelchair around and backed Rafael in.

"Let's just order some dinner, and watch TV." Rafael suggested.

Laughing Liv said, "Just like old times. But we're getting something Noah hates."

Rafael burst out laughing and agreed as Liv helped him over to the sofa. He sat down and placed his leg up on the coffee table. Liv stood up and then looked at him smiling. "I missed seeing you in here."

"I missed seeing you." Rafael responded as he pulled out his phone and opened up UberEats.

They looked at each other smiling and said at the same time, "Thai!" Both laughed as Olivia ran back to the hall to bring in the suitcases and get them put away and fold up the wheelchair.

Rafael yelled out, "Foods on it's way, 35 minutes!"

"Good!" Liv said coming around the corner with two glasses in her hands.

"What is this?" Rafael said looking disdainfully at the scotch glass filled with milk.

"You are not having scotch with pain killers, Rafa." Liv said as she sat down next to Rafael. He put the glass off to the side and slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Liv smiled at the sudden affection and turned to look at him. When she did he pulled the wine glass from her hand.

Laughing he said, "Fine then I'll just have some of your wine."

"Rafa!" Liv said laughing as she shook her head. "You get sick and I'm making you clean it up. Busted leg or not." And They both laughed.

After a moment Liv reached over Rafael for the remote. He caught a scent of her hair, "You used my shampoo." He said with a small smile.

"Yeah. Since you told me to stay at your place, I took a shower there. I had planned on using the hotels stuff but, I used yours instead." Liv explained suddenly realizing how very intimate that was. "Was that ok?"

Rafael picked up a strand of her hair and sniffed it purposefully, "I like how it smells on you, but I prefer how you usually smell. Orange Tea and a hint of lavender."

Liv turned and looked at him carefully, "The lavender is Noah's." She said softly. Her hand coming to sit on his chest. "How did you know it was orange tea? It's not a common scent."

"For a long time I thought it was lemon or something like that. But it never seemed right. Then at Christmas I wanted to get you something and I couldn't figure out what. Mami told me about this store where they custom blend scents for you and add it to whatever item. It took a while but as soon as I sniffed it, I knew." Rafael said then realizing how much he'd just given away he looked over at the tv and realizing it wasn't on, reached for the remote that was still in Liv's hand.

"Which Christmas?"

"Netflix?" Rafael asked trying to change the topic

"Rafa." Liv said his name barely more than a whisper, "when?"

"2013." Rafael says and the lifts his head and looks at her his gaze unflinching. Liv can see him stealing himself.

Her hand slides up his chest and to his cheek. She doesn't blink as she watches him, his emotions being carefully controlled behind his eyes. She can feel his jaw tense and relax as thoughts run through his mind. "You didn't give me a Christmas present that year. In fact the first time I got a Christmas present from you was 2016. It was a book, The Story of Babar. You said you thought Noah and I would enjoy it."

"You remember?" Rafael said turning so he was angled on the couch and able to touch Olivia's face. He ran a finger down her cheek.

"Of course." Liv said adjusting her position to be more comfortable. She stretches her legs out on the sofa and lays on her side so she can place her hand on Rafa's chest easily. Her head is at height with his shoulder. She feels his hand stroke down the side of her face and she relaxes against him as her eyes shut at his touch.

"Liv" he whispers almost afraid to hope she's feeling what he is. She lifts her head as he says her name but keeps her eyes shut enjoying his caress. Her lips part when she feels his put a small amount of pressure just below her lower lip. He leans his head down to hers and sees her eyes open just a bit. He feels like he's swimming in her golden brown orbs.

"Rafa." She says her voice breaks just slightly and her hand slides across his chest and to his shoulder. She lifts her head to his, her hand sliding around the back of his neck slowly pulling his head to hers.

RING!

RING!

The two pull apart as if they were teenagers caught making out by their parents. Laughing nervously, Liv grabs her phone, "Benson" she says angrily and tries to calm her heart and her tone of voice.

Then realizes it's the door buzzer and drops the phone and walks over to let up the delivery guy. Coming back with the food, she stops in the kitchen and takes a moment. 'Rafa,' she says to herself. 'This is Rafa. What am I doing? Exactly what I've wanted to for a very long time.' She admits. 'Why else would you have dropped everything to fly to Texas?' she asks herself. 'Am I ready to risk everything? Am I ready to risk losing my best friend? Am I ready to try?'

Stepping out of the kitchen with plates and chopsticks, Liv lays everything out on the coffee table, then looks at Rafael's leg as she hands him a plate filled with food. "Are you going to fit on the couch?"

"What?" Rafael says confused by the change in conversation, then looking at the external pin's holding his recently operated leg together and the width of the couch realizes what Liv is asking. "I'll make it work."

"How?" Liv asks as she sits down next to him but letting herself cuddle up against his side.

"I don't know. I could place a few pillows on the coffee table and just sleep that way." Rafael suggested.

"For the next 2 weeks? I don't think so." Liv took a bite of food and thought for a minute. "Rafa I only see 1 real option."

Mouth full of food, he turned and looked at her eyebrow raised.

"You take my bed and I'll sleep out here."

"No Liv. I'm not kicking you out of your bed. Especially not for 2 weeks."

Smiling she said in a slightly teasing tone, "Well we could always just share my bed."


	12. Chapter 12

A few hours later Rafael found himself sitting on Olivia's bed. His arguments about not putting her out of her room had fallen on deaf ears. He had to admit she made sense, he couldn't fit on the couch, Noah would be home tomorrow and her sleeping on the couch for 2 weeks while being back at work probably wasn't logical either.

He could hear Liv in the shower and ran his hands over his face. This was a level of intimacy that was new to them. He looked in the suitcase Liv had packed and saw she'd brought both his boxers and boxer-briefs, smiling he bet that probably gave her a moment of confusion and wondered if she'd ever bring that up. With only some pain and maneuvering he thought that was worthy of Cirque D'Soleil he managed to pull on a pair of boxers, to sleep in and put his gym shorts into the bag.

"You ok?" Liv yelled through the closed door.

Rafael closed his eyes, realizing she must have heard him trying to change. "I'm good. Just getting comfortable."

The door cracked open and Liv stepped out wearing a pair of shorts and an old NYPD T-shirt that looked like it was well loved. "It can't be easy." She said as she held out a glass of water to him.

Taking the water, he nodded, "This thing weighs a ton."

Liv handed him a few pills. "Big ones are the worst." She said as she walked around the bed and got in on the right side.

She looked at the nightstand on this side and felt a little disoriented, "I usually sleep on the left." Liv explained as she got back out and found a charger and plugged in her phone.

"Liv I'm really putting you out."

"We're not starting this again. Especially after you just took a pain killer. It's no fun arguing with you when you're asleep."

Rafael laughed, "I conceded but in your next life you better be a lawyer."

"Ha!" Liv said, "I don't play dirty enough." She slid into the bed and then looked at Rafael, "Don't you want to change your shirt?"

Rafael let out a slow breath and then said, "I usually just sleep in boxers."

"Are you cold?"

"No. It's just…." He let the rest of his sentence die as a ghost of a memory ran across his face.

Liv put her hand on his arm and turned so she was looking at him. "It's just what Rafa?" she asked softly

"scars." Rafael mumbled quietly.

Liv watched as it looked like Rafa was going to crumble in front of her. She took his hand in hers and held it close to her cheek. "We all have scars Rafa. Some are visible, some aren't, you don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed."

Liv took a deep breath and lifted the side of her shirt so Rafael could see her ribcage, "You've seen pictures before." She stated matter of factly," But it's different when they're right there."

She laid his fingers on a burn mark that William Lewis had given her. She moved his fingers to another and then a third. "But those aren't my only scars, Rafa."

She took his fingers and placed them just under the neck of her shirt almost on her shoulder. "There are others, from the job." She helped him feel the round mark the bullet that hit her when she was a rookie had left. "and others," she said taking his hand and laying on her heart, "that only I see."

Rafael swallowed hard. He knew what exposing herself to him like that had taken for her. He knew how protective she was of her heart and how few people she let in to see her in this way. "I told you about my father." He said softly as his hands left hers and reached down and found the edge of his shirt. "I didn't tell you everything." He pulled the shirt over his head and let it fall on the floor.

Turning he let her see his back, for once grateful to his father. At least this way he didn't have to see the disgust or pity in her eyes, since his father had only ever left marks on his back. He felt Liv's fingertips touch him and he fought to be still. Her hands spread out over his back as if she could cover all of it and protect him now from what he went through then.

"Belt?" Liv asked quietly. When Rafa only nodded, she leaned her head forward and rested it on his shoulder. Her hands slid around under his arms and met in front of him. She placed a kiss lightly on his back as she held him and waited for him to make the next move.

"Very few people know." Rafael said his voice becoming more his own. He turned his upper body and slid his arm up and behind so Liv was resting her head on his chest. "Even fewer have seen."

Liv nodded and whispered, "Then thank you."

"Thank you?"

"For trusting me. For letting me in."

Rafael lowered his head and felt his lips rest on the top of Liv's head. "I've never been able to keep anything from you. I don't want to." He kissed the top of her head and then rested his cheek on it. He wanted to say more but couldn't get the words out, they sat stuck in his throat.

"Rafa, I don't keep things from you either. You are, next to Noah, the most important person in my life." She felt his arms tighten around her.

Rafael opened his mouth to respond but was surprised by a yawn escaping instead.

"C'mon." Liv said as she tugged him down flat on the bed. "Let's get some sleep. Your mom will be here in the morning."

Rafael nodded as he felt his brain becoming foggier and thoughts harder to order.

Liv reached over and turned out the light on her nightstand and then turned on her side to look at Rafa in the dark. She could tell his eyes were almost closed. "Sleep well Rafa." She whispered.

"Sueno profundo, Mi Livia" Rafael whispered back and Liv wondered if he knew that he was speaking Spanish or that he had called her his Livia, a name she had never gone by.


	13. Chapter 13

Liv woke to find herself curled in Rafael's side. Her head on his chest and her arm around him. She smiled and thought she could get used to this. She was enjoying the calm and quiet and so tried to be still, she listened to his heartbeat and was somewhere between awake and drifting back off when she felt his fingers start to twitch.

"You awake?" Rafael whispered. He was suddenly very aware of where his hand was, just underneath the hem of Liv's shirt. Without meaning it his fingers began to spread across her side and over her stomach.

"mm hmm." Liv whispered back, her eyes lightly shut not wanting to break the spell that was over them. She slid her hand over Rafael's chest enjoying the feel of his warm skin under her hand. She let her hand wander over the angles and planes of his abs and forced herself to remember every touch.

She felt his hand caress her cheek and slide under her chin. She lifted her head to look at Rafa. She opened her eyes and saw the same question she felt reflected back to her.

"Liv?" Rafa asked as he leaned towards her. He felt her lean in to him. "Yes?"

"Yes." Liv whispered a second before she felt his lips touch hers.

Tentatively at first and then growing more demanding when she didn't pull away. Liv sighed against Rafa's lips and she felt him pull her lower lip into his mouth. She responded by touching his lips with her tongue, brief darting, just a taste. Rafa's tongue followed hers back into her mouth where they danced and tasted each other. Rafa's hand was in her hair and on her neck pulling her closer, demanding more and more of her. Liv shifted so they could reach each other better her own hand sliding into the fine hairs at the back of his neck. Finally, breathless they pulled apart. Rafa kissed her again gently his hand sliding down her arm as the other held her close to him.

Liv blinked as the kiss ended and her eyes opened.

"That was worth waiting for." She said softly as touched Rafa's cheek.

Rafael laughed and pulled her close again. Capturing her mouth with his. Though just as intense the kiss was shorter as Rafa pulled back, "I can't get enough." He said with a wink.

Liv laughed, "I'll agree with that." As she leaned in and kissed him quickly deepening the kiss. This time she let her hand roam over his chest and abs while they kissed and when the kiss ended, she placed her hand on his chest and then kissed him right above where her hand lay. She lifted her hand and laid just a finger on Rafa and began to trail it across his chest. She would stop intermittently and place a kiss or nibble lightly where her finger pointed.

She paused when she got to his waistband and looked up at him. Rafa's eyes were dark and his desire was pulsating behind them clearly.

Rafa put his hands on either side of her head and pulled her up to his face again. Kissing her, giving her all of the passion and desire he was feeling. He rolled Liv onto her back as he kissed her and managed to adjust his leg with only some pain.

Taking control he deepened the kiss. His hands knotted in her hair as he kissed her. He left her mouth and kissed her on her neck, in that soft spot where the neck and shoulder meet. He nipped lightly at it and heard her suck air through her teeth. He sucked and nipped a little more and felt her squirm beneath him.

Smiling he lifted his head and looked at her. He could see her need in her eyes, he let his hand roam down to the hem of her shirt and slide across her flat stomach. Liv smiled at his touch. Slowly, giving her time to stop him. Giving them time to get used to the others reactions, needs and wants, Rafael slowly slid his hands across her stomach and up her sides. He moved her shirt with him as his hands moved. Liv reached down and pulled the shirt over her head and Rafa, smiled at her as he let his hands keep moving slowly tortourusly up her sides.

Liv gasped when Rafael's palms rain over her breasts. He paused looking to her for confirmation. She reached out and pulled him to her kissing him deeply, her tongue automatically forcing into his mouth and demanding dominance. Rafa smiled as the kiss continued and let his fingertips find Liv's nipples. He felt her back arch at the squeezing touch and her kiss became more demanding.

Pulling back and breaking the kiss Rafa, lowered his head and lifted Liv's breast he let just the tip of his tongue dance across the nipple and heard her sigh. He looked up at her as she was looking down at him. He lifted her breast to his lips, there eyes never breaking contact, "Rafa!" Liv exclaimed breathlessly as soon as his lips closed over her. His free hand began to slowly massage her other breast and to play with the hardened nipple.

He watched Liv's eyes close, and hummed happily against her breast before switching sides. Liv gripped his head this time when his lips closed around her. He opened his mouth over her nipple and sucked it in and played with it with his tongue. Every so often letting it slide through his teeth and then sucking it back in. Each time he did this Liv groaned with pleasure, arched her back or pulled his head even closer to her.

Finally, releasing her he lifted his head and claimed her lips. He trailed his teeth over her bottom lip the way he had over her nipple and he got the same moan of pleasure. He slid his tongue into her mouth tasting her, remembering her flavor.

RING

RING

"Are you kidding me." Liv spat out as she reached for her phone.


	14. Chapter 14

Rafael laughed when he saw her phone go flying and reached for his. He looked down at the screen and visibly paled.

"Rafa? What is it?" Liv asked looking at the screen.

She immediately turned red and pulled the covers around her. "Answer it." She hissed suddenly feeling like a teenager who had been caught making out.

"Hi." Rafael said his voice gruffer than he intended.

"Rafi!" His mother said happily into the phone. "Did I wake you?"

Rafa turned and looked at Liv who was trying to get out of bed while still holding a sheet around her. "No" he said and pulled on the sheet lightly "We were awake."

Liv turned and looked at Rafa just as the sheet fell back on the bed, he shrugged as though he'd had nothing to do with it. 'you're in trouble' she mouthed silently.

Rafael nodded as his mother talked but smiled as he watched a half-naked Olivia walk around the bed. He couldn't believe his eyes. He knew he needed to listen to his mother but Olivia was standing in front of him.

"RAFI!" His mother suddenly said loudly

"Ay! Sorry Mami." Rafael said cringing, he knew that tone. He shut his eyes trying to remember what she had asked and was just about to answer when…

WHACK

"ooof" Rafael said and laughed silently as he threw the pillow that had just knocked him over after Olivia who had turned and stepped into the bathroom and promptly shut the door.

"Rafi are you ok? What was that? Did you fall?" Lucia had a note of panic in her voice.

"Mami, I'm fine. I just shifted wrong." He thought and realized it wasn't too wrong from the truth as he felt his desire for Liv was still very strong.

"OK. So, I'll get your tricycle and then come and see you for a while."

"It's not a tricycle." Rafael said exasperation seeping through his voice

"Mijo it has 3 wheels, a seat and handles. It's a tricycle." His mother said simply. "Good luck keeping Noah away from it by the way." She teased.

"Mami."

"Rafi" there was a deafening silence and then, "I won't stay too long you sound like you need sleep." Lucia said after a moment.

"Gracias Mami"

"I'll see you soon Mijo. Be good yes?"

"Si Mami." He smiled at the familiar saying. She had said that to him every single day when she left him at school or with a family member so she could work. He heard the phone click and he looked at the phone in his hand and smiled. Nothing in the world was quite as good as a mom to make you feel everything was going to be ok in the world.

He listened to Liv in the shower and smiled. This was more intimacy than he ever imagined having with her and he didn't want it to ever end. But his mother was coming with the knee scooter and there really wasn't any good reason for him to say with her after that. Even If he still couldn't get up all the steps at his mother's apartment building, he could still go to a hotel.

Rafael was sitting very still and looking at his hands introspectively when Liv stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a robe.

"Rafa?" She asked as she sat down on the side of the bed next to him. She reached down and picked up his hand and felt him jerk as though he hadn't seen, heard or felt her arrival. "What's wrong?"

"I just realized that since my mother's bringing the knee scooter today, you'll be able to get me out of your hair before Noah gets home."

"You don't want to see Noah?" Liv asked confused

"Of course I do."

"This is about this morning." Liv said and interlaced her fingers with his.

"Yeah. I know it's best for Noah if I don't sleep here. Especially if I don't sleep HERE." He said emphasizing Liv's bed. "but I had the first good sleep I've had in years. Holding you. Knowing you were beside me."

Liv squeezed his hand, "me too."

"This morning was amazing, something I would never have even dared to dream about, but I keep thinking about Noah."

"What about him."

"We have to protect him."

Liv smiled. She realized how soft this hard attorney truly was. How deep his love for her and her son must go if he was willing to walk away after what occurred between them this morning "What if I'm not willing to let go of what we might have that easily."

"Liv?"

"Did you know you speak Spanish in your sleep?"

"No."

Liv reached a hand out and touched his face lightly and nodded. She watched his mind run through the things he might have said.

"It's how I think of you. My Liv." He whispered as he realized what he'd probably said, "Mi Livia"

Liv felt her breath hitch as she heard him say it again. "We take things slow. For us and for Noah. We'll figure a way to explain our sleeping arrangement to him as well because I'm not willing for you to be elsewhere."

"You're sure?"

Liv smiled and brought her face inches from his. He felt her breath on his lips as she spoke, "Si Rafa. Ciertamente." She ended the last sound by closing the gap between them and kissing him. As much as she wanted this to last and continue further she knew that Lucia was on her way and she didn't want her to walk in on them making out. Pulling back she said, "We will continue this tonight Rafa."

Rafael smiled and said, "Como quieras, Mi Livia."


	15. Chapter 15

When Lucia arrived a few hours later Rafael was sitting in the living room with his leg propped on the table. Liv was in the kitchen putting away their breakfast dishes.

"Olivia, thank you" Lucia said as she stepped into the apartment. "I don't know what I would have done without you." Lucia said before turning and stepping back into the hall to retrieve several shopping bags. "I hope you don't mind but Noah and I cooked. We made a little party to welcome Rafi and you home."

Liv smiled and laughing said, "Noah cooked?"

"Si. He's very talented. Knows what will go well together instinctually."

Liv smiled and said, "I can't wait for the 4 of us to try all of this." She said as Lucia handed her 3 large paper bags that were all very heavy.

Leaning over the side of the couch Rafael said, "Just tell me plantains are in those bags somewhere Mami."

"Si mijo. Like I would ever forget that." Lucia laughed and turned to grab the knee scooter and shut the door. "Olivia, remind me one day to tell you about Rafi and his love for plantains."

"Mami!" Rafael said suddenly embarrassed

Lucia came over and hugged her son and then whispered, "Madres siempre cuentan a sus hijos novias historias embarazosas."

Rafael turned beat red and said, "Mami. She's …well…I mean…" suddenly at a loss for words because he didn't know what he and Liv were right now and he couldn't lie to his mother.

Liv walked back into the living room after managing to get all the food put into the fridge to hear Rafa sputtering, "I don't know how you did it but I've never seen or heard Rafa at a loss for words."

Lucia laughed, "You're a mother Olivia. You'll develop this talent too as your son gets older and has stories he doesn't want shared." The two laughed and Rafael looked between them and suddenly got nervous that the stories were all about to be about him.

"Mami, pass me the scooter." When Lucia did Rafael got himself up and onto it and said, "Why don't I let you two talk and embarrass me and I will go and see about getting more cleaned up than I have been in a few days."

Liv smiled, "Have fun. I know we will"

"Ha ha."

30 minutes later Liv stepped into her bedroom to grab a picture to show Lucia and heard Rafa in the shower singing. She couldn't quite make out all the words but the sound was beautiful. His voice was rich and the Spanish words seemed to flow like lava down a mountain. She shut her eyes and put her hand on the bathroom door as she enjoyed the private concert. When the door suddenly opened and she lost her balance.

"Liv." Rafa said as he lifted his arms and caught her. "I've got you." He said his arms pulling her towards him.

Liv righted herself and then looked at Rafa, "I didn't know you sang." She said by way of explanation.

"Dance too." Rafa looked down at his leg and added, "Well used too. It's a Cuban thing."

Liv nodded and slipped her arms around his neck, "Today, just got very long." She whispered as she placed a kiss on his neck.

"Liv?" Rafa said surprised

"I liked what I heard and I like what I'm seeing." Liv teased as she leaned back in his arms. "When your leg is better you are taking me dancing."

"I promise." Rafa said and then closed the distance between them and captured her lips in a brief but passionate kiss.

Slightly breathless Liv pulled back, "I should go. Your mother."

Rafa nodded and adjusted his towel which had shifted the more he had touched Liv.

Liv noticed his action and smiled to herself but said, "Get dressed and come back out. Lucy and Noah will be home soon." Turning Liv grabbed the picture of her and her mother and headed back out.

Rafa smiled and thought to himself, I need to sing more.


	16. Chapter 16

"MOMMY!" Noah yelled happily as the door burst suddenly open. Liv was already waiting for him and captured his excited form in her arms and scooped him up in a hug.

"Noah!" Liv said happily as she laid her face on his head and breathed in his soft curls. "I've missed you my sweet boy!"

"I missed you more mommy." Noah replied and kissed her.

Finally letting go, Liv took Noah's hand and said, "Want to say hi to everyone else?"

Noah nodded before throwing his backpack down and running into the living room.

Turning she looked at Lucy and said, "How are you?"

"I'm good Liv. We missed you, but Lucia is amazing!"

Liv laughed and said, "Good to know. Do you want to stay for dinner? Lucia made enough for a small army."

"No, thanks. You all get caught up and we can chat tomorrow. I have a mid-term coming up that is threatening my GPA."

"You mean you might get something other than a 4.0." Liv said proudly and affectionately rubbed the young girls' shoulder.

Laughing Lucy called "Bye Noah! I'll see you in the morning." And headed out the door.

Liv stepped back into the living room to see Noah looking at Rafa's external fixator as Rafa explained what it was.

"You can touch just be gentle." Rafa said as Noah put an experimental finger on the metal. Slowly he touched Rafa's leg.

"I don't feel rods?"

"You're not supposed to." Rafa explained. "They're down near my bone helping them get straight again."

"Does it hurt?"

"Mostly at night."

"Mommy will sleep near you and talk to you if you want."

Liv turned bright red and Rafael sputtered. Lucia responded with, "That sounds very nice. Does Mommy do that when you feel sick?"

Noah nodded. "She talks and sings and tells stories."

"You have a very good mommy Noah." Rafael said recovering.

"I'm lucky. Me and Jesse both are."

"Yes, and so is Billie." Replied Rafael.

"No Billie has a daddy. So, she's not lucky. Jesse and I only have Mommy's. We're lucky."

Walking over and pulling Noah onto the sofa next to her Liv said, "Noah, we've talked about this. Just because some Daddies are bad doesn't mean all daddies are. Billie's daddy is a good man."

"I know. But Jesse and I are lucky cause we don't have to worry about it at all."

"Uncle Rafa?" Noah said suddenly turning, "Can you go back to work with Mommy now that your home?"

"No Noah. I can't. I'm working on something very important. I'm trying to help families stay together."

Noah nodded, "I hope Uncle Sonny does your job good then."

"Sara is ok. Her Daddy is in jail and he can't hurt her anymore." Liv said as she wrapped an arm around Noah.

Noah nodded and after a moment turned to Lucia and said, "Abuela did you make Bunelos?"

"Si mijo." Lucia said "If you do your homework right now I bet we can have a bunelo for dessert."

"Bunelos? Mami?" Rafael said pretending to be upset, "You know my favorite dessert is plantains."

"Si Rafa. But for my Noah. I had to make Bunelos. Though there might be a dish of plantains in the fridge for you, if you behave."

Liv laughed, "The two of them have the worst sweet teeth." Standing to go to the kitchen.

"Rafi gets his honestly." Lucia said standing and following Liv to the kitchen, "His abuelo and abuelita would ply him with sweets all the time. He was horrible with vegetables. Of course, his Abuelo also had a sweet tooth and making sure Rafi had one ensured that he got them." Lucia smiled reminiscently.

Liv touched the older woman's shoulder. "He talks about them so lovingly."

"They took good care of him. They loved him. He almost left school when Abuelo got sick, but he was told that he had to be a lawyer. With his big mouth, it was his only option." Lucia added the last with a wink and Liv laughed.

"I'm glad that you and Noah are a part of our family. I always worried that Rafi would never find his match. You two are good for each other and the three of you are right together."

"Lucia, it's not like that."

"I have eyes Olivia. He watches you. He smiles every time you come in the room. The two of you sit just so and know the others thoughts. It is like that. Maybe you haven't told yourselves yet. But, trust a mother, she knows when her son has found the right woman."


	17. Chapter 17

Not long after Lucia excused herself for the night and Noah went to his room to do his homework.

Liv sat down next to Rafa and leaned into his side as he slid an arm around her.

"How badly did my mother embarrass me?" Rafa said breaking the silence.

"Let's just say she likes being called Abuela."

Rafael shook his head, "Liv I'm sorry. She shouldn't be…"

Liv stopped Rafa by leaning over and kissing him. "Yes, she should. She's a mother. She didn't say anything bad or shocking. I also think it's safe to say at this point that we are more than just friends."

Rafa nodded, "Definitely. But she still shouldn't be…"

"She's letting me know that she's ok with me as your partner. She's also happy that Noah is a part of all of our lives." Liv laid a hand on Rafa's chest and slowly let it slide back and forth, "We have as much time as we want and need. There is no pressure, but it is nice to know that there are no obstacles."

"I hate to disagree with you but you're wrong on 2 points. 1 there is an obstacle we need to discuss." Rafa looked over his shoulder towards Noah's room.

"He loves you."

"Now."

"Fine then Counselor after homework we'll talk with him and make sure he's ok. Feel Better?"

"Yes, except that does bring us to point number 2 and the pressure which is a constant issue when I'm around you." Rafa said teasingly.

Liv chuckled and reached around for a pillow and threw it at him. "We'll discuss your pressure issues and mine after Noah's in bed." She whispered in his ear as she leaned in over him. She then kissed him on the neck and stood before he could respond.

"Really got to work on those reflexes Rafa." Liv teased as she walked over to Noah's door and peaked in.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she cracked the door only to have it tap her son in the head.

"Um?"

"Try a full sentence Noah."

"I heard you and Uncle Rafa talking about me and I wanted to know what I did." Noah said as he looked at his feet.

"Come on out to the living room so we can discuss this as a family."

Noah followed Liv and immediately sat right next to Rafa. Rafa looked down at his small friend and said conspiratorially, "Acere, que bola?"

Noah looked up at Rafa and blinked confused

"What's up buddy?" Rafa translated

Liv came and sat on the table across from Noah. "I was listening to you and Mommy talk about me."

"That's called eavesdropping." Rafa said, "You never hear everything and you never know the truth."

Noah nodded. "You guys were quiet so I didn't hear most of what you said."

"What did you hear?" Liv asked gently

"Abuela told you about me." Noah said with a shrug, then added, "And that Uncle Rafa has high blood pressure."

Rafa bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"No sweet boy. Uncle Rafa does not have High Blood Pressure, that's Uncle Fin, but he's ok because he takes good care of himself. His son Ken and Ken's family make sure Uncle Fin is healthy." Noah nodded but looked concerned.

"I said," Rafael started then looked at Liv who matched his look and then blinked slowly, "that I was feeling pressure because your mom and I wanted to talk with you and I'm not very good at waiting."

"Did I do something at Abuela's?" Noah asked looking back and forth

"No sweetheart." Liv said automatically. "Noah. Is it ok with you if Uncle Rafa stays with us?"

"Of course!" He said happily then remembering something his Uncle had taught him, "I assume that means more stories and Lego time."

Both adults laughed at how well Noah imitated Rafael throwing out a plea deal. "I think that can be arranged Counselor." Rafa said and hugged Noah to him.

"Do you have any questions for Uncle Rafa or I about this?"

Noah thought for a moment and then said, "A few."

"OK, what are your questions?" Rafa said

"Do you get to put me in time out? Do I still get to climb into Mommy's bed on weekends? Can we get a dog? Does this mean extra screen time or less? If I don't want to talk to Mommy about something can I talk to you, like a guy thing? Will you teach me to dance and sing, Abuela says you're very good. Can we speak Spanish? I think that's it."

Rafael sat they're with his mouth open. "Have I really spent this much time around him?" He asked Liv.

Liv laughed and nodded then said, "He does sound a bit like you at times. "Turning she looked at Noah and said, "Uncle Rafa is an adult living in our home. This is his home for however long he needs it to be, so yes. If I'm not home and something happens he can put you in time out. If Uncle Rafa tells you to do something you do it same as if it were me or Lucy."

Noah nodded, "OK." He then turned and looked expectantly at Rafa,

"OK buddy…I'm going to do my best to answer the rest, let's see. Dog depends on mommy…she's the boss. Screen time doesn't change. You can always talk to me about anything anytime no matter where I am. Once my leg is better, yes, I will teach you to dance but we can start with singing. I would love to teach you to speak Spanish. How's that? Did I get them all?"

Noah laughed uproariously as Rafa reeled off answers rapid fire. "You missed one."

Liv and Rafa looked at each other. They both knew the one he had missed and why. "What did I miss?"

"On weekends, do I still get to climb into bed with Mommy to snuggle? Or is there no room for me?"

Liv scooted over next to Noah and wrapped her arms tight around him. "There is ALWAYS room for you." She lifted her head and made eye contact with Rafa and after a quick silent conversation Rafa reangled his body and wrapped an arm around the back of Noah his hand resting on Liv's shoulder and draped his front arm around them both. "See Noah. Even with me around you fit perfectly."

Noah rested his head against first Liv and looked at Rafa and then on Rafa and looked at Liv and said, "Maybe better. But I bet we could still squeeze in a puppy."


	18. Chapter 18

The three quickly settled into a routine with Lucy bringing Noah to and from school but also taking Rafael to his doctor's appointments. In the mornings Liv and Noah hurried around and got ready for their day while Rafael tried mostly to stay out of the way. In the evenings though was family time. Rafael tried to cook for them most days and was finding it fun to introduce Noah to different foods and flavors while. Once Noah had gone to bed he and Liv would pick up where they left off but they still hadn't gone any further than they had that first morning.

A few weeks into this new routine Liv found herself sitting at her desk and looking at a picture on her phone of Noah helping Rafa make tamales and smiled. Those two were so good together.

"Captain?" she heard and had to stop herself from jumping.

"What is it Richard?" Liv asked already getting to her feet. Her newest Detective rarely bothered her unless it were work related.

"We just got a call. A DV." He said as he walked over to the briefing area Liv followed behind her phone in her hand.

Liv felt her chest tighten as she remembered Dodds but spoke around it, "What do we know?"

"There were three separate calls made from different lines." Richard said as he pulled up the 911 log. "Fin's already headed over there with Kat."

Liv nodded as she listened to the three recordings. "Richard get these down to Taru. I'm hearing something in the background. Is Rollins still in court?"

"I think so."

"I'm gonna go down and check on the situation." Liv said and grabbed her vest. As she pulled it on she looked at the young man and said, "Go to court get Rollins and then meet us down there. Wear your vest. This is not an option. Same for Rollins."

Liv stepped out of the squad room and headed for the elevator. Stepping inside she quickly texted Rafa.

'May be late. Do you want me to call Lucy?'

'No! We'll just have a boys night. Be safe.'

'Always. Have fun!'

Liv stared at her phone and debated typing one more line just as the doors opened on the ground floor and she stepped out. Back in Captain mode she put the phone away got in the car and headed for the apartment building with the complaint.

Pulling up she saw not just Fin and Kat's car but several other cars as well as an ambulance. She found the ESU Sight Commander and introduced herself.

"Glad to have you." He replied. "Your guys were first on the scene and have already gotten to the door. They haven't gotten in yet. One neighbor reported that the boyfriend had mentioned in passing that he enjoys hunting so we're not sure what we're dealing with."

Liv nodded and then headed in. She got up beside Fin and placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly to acknowledge her but didn't say anything. Stepping back from the door he and Kat led Liv to the end of the hall.

"When we got here he was yelling."

"What was he saying?" Liv asked knowing that any piece of information could be helpful in calming this situation down fast.

"Incoherent." Kat said "I have a captioning device on my phone and I tried using that to get anything but no luck."

"Anything else?"

"Usual." Fin said "Breaking glass, something being thrown, yelling from both of them. A lot of her sobbing. Not crying, sobbing" Fin clarified, for some reason this difference seemed important in this case.

"I'm assuming you knocked."

"Several times." Offered Kat. "We even offered a toss phone but they don't respond to us."

"Alright, let me try." Liv said and walked back to the door. 48F she had a feeling she'd be remembering that number for a while. Knocking loudly, her knukels just under the F she announced herself.

"My name is Captain Olivia Benson of the NYPD Special Victims Unit. I'm here to do a well person check."

She waited and counted to three in her head, "I've been told that a resident of this apartment might have weapons and I do not want to risk injuries to anyone."

1….2….3 deep breath "The NYPD will be unable to leave until we have entered this apartment and done a well person check of all residents."

1…2….3 'here we go she thought' deep breath "We do not want to use force to enter your home but if you do not open this door we will be forced to."

"GO AWAY!" came a female voice "Everything is fine. It's just a misunderstanding."

"That's not possible Ma'am. I need this door opened."

"We can't get to the door safely. There's too much glass." Came the voice again.

Liv and Fin looked at each other and nodded. "Stand away from the door." Fin shouted and then rammed the door with his shoulder and hip and it popped open.

"That really is a lot of glass." Kat said under her breath as she heard it crunch under Fin's feet and looked at what had to be an entire bar set of glassware shattered almost directly infront of the door. "I'll go get EMT's" Kat said before heading back down the stairs.

Fin walked over to the man and placed himself between him and the woman. "You hurt?" He asked not truly concerned but having seen blood knowing it needed to be asked. The man nodded but didn't speak.

The woman was still seated in a chair in a corner of the room. "Who's in here?"

Olivia walked over to her and said, "I'm Captain Benson and that's Sargeant Tutuola." She watched as the woman slowly turned her head so that she was looking at Olivia face on.

"I'm Annette. I'm blind so I don't know who is who." She said. "Greg, my boyfriend, is he ok?"

Liv turned and saw an ashen faced man. "He looks worried. Does he speak English?" She asked wondering why he wasn't responding or talking at all.

"He can but because of Usher's disease he's lost a good portion of his hearing so he signs now more than speaks. His vision is going but he's still got most of his sight."

"Damn." Fin said as he looked around the room and things suddenly began to become clearer to him. "So when the glasses dropped he was yelling at you to stay back." He said looking at Annette's bare feet.

"And the things being thrown were shoes." Liv finished.

Annette nodded as the EMT's came in. Their heavy boots crunching on the glass.

"Oh that is going to be miserable to clean up." Annette said "Oh well, that's what vaccuum's and mops are for."

When Greg saw the EMT's he smiled and then began to point at Annette and then at his feet. One of the EMT's put up her hands and stepped closer to Greg and spoke to him slowly through sign language.

'Are you hurt?'

'Her please. Doctor needs to see her feet.'

'We will take you both.'

'Please her feet.'

'I'm coming back.'

She stepped over to the woman and said, "I understand your feet are hurt."

Annette smiled, "You sign?"

"Barely. I bet if you ask your husband he'd say the dog next door was better."

Annette smiled. "Thank you."

"My partner is going to carry you over to the stretcher and we're going to strap you in so we can get you and …"

"Greg. My boyfriend is Greg."

"Greg to the ER. You both have quite a few cuts and I'd feel better if a Doctor checked for broken glass."

Liv nodded to Fin and the two headed back down to the street. Once everyone was back on their way and Greg and Annette were off to the ER together. Liv sighed and said, "Fin do me a favor, find out what happened to Richard and Rollins and then write this up."

"Gotcha Liv." Fin said and as he looked to where Kat as sitting in the car making notes in her log book he added, "Go on home to Noah and Barba, it's been a long week."

Liv nodded "Thanks."


	19. Chapter 19

Liv got home late to find Rafa and Noah sound asleep in the living room. They were curled up together with a book between them, Rafa leaning against the sofa and Noah wrapped in a blanket curled into Rafa's side with Rafa holding him close. Smiling at the sight she quickly snapped a picture and sent it to Lucia.

"Noah" she whispered

"mmm" was the reply but he buried his head closer to Rafa and turned away from her.

Smiling Liv tried again, "Hey, want to go to bed."

"eh" came the reply but his hands held tight to Rafa and his eyes never opened.

Realizing this battle was lost Liv grabbed a blanket and covered Rafa and then bent down and kissed each on the forehead. "I love you." She whispered as she stood back up and headed back to her room and wondered to herself had she been saying that only to Noah or had she finally admitted her feelings for Rafa aloud.

The next morning Liv woke to find a text message on her phone from Amanda asking if Noah was wanted to have a sleepover with Jesse. The two women quickly made plans and arranged to have Carisi pick up Noah at 11 on his way to get her and the girls to go to the Bronx Zoo. A few minutes later another text came onto her phone and Liv laughed out loud as this was clearly from Jesse to Noah.

Walking into the living room she saw Noah sound asleep in Rafa's arms, the two boys curled on the floor. "Noah. You have a text" she said loudly as she walked in and laughed as he blinked confusedly trying to figure out where he was.

"Uncle Rafa!" He said giggling, "You're squishing me!" he said with a laugh

Rafa for his part decided that the best thing to do at this point was to begin tickling Noah who rolled around and finally escaped. He ran to his mother and said, "PHONE!"

"Try again."

"Mom! Please!" Noah begged then realizing that this wasn't going to work said, "May I please see the phone?" In an exaggerated tone.

Liv opened the phone and handed it to him so he could see his message. He giggled and then pushed the screen and "YES! Wait…I better ask… MOM? Can I go to the zoo with Jesse oh and Billie?"

Liv looked over and realized he had facetimed Jesse, shaking her head she said, "Yes, Aunt Amanda and I already talked and Uncle Sonny will be here at 11."

All three kids started cheering.

"Breakfast!" Amanda yelled from her kitchen "All three of you and clothes."

The kids hung up and Noah quickly got ready had breakfast and was waiting when Sonny picked him up. He brought an overnight bag because these things always included a sleepover. Shutting the door behind them Liv turned and looked at Rafa.

"We have the next 24 hours or so completely to ourselves. What should we do?" She asked as she walked over to him.

Rafael took her hand and pulled her down to the couch and kissed her passionately. Finally letting the kiss end he said, "We could go to a museum. Or see a show." As he spoke he let his hands slowly wrap around Liv and pull her steadily closer to him until she was almost on top of him, "Whatever you feel like really."


	20. Chapter 20

"What" Liv said as she placed one leg on the left side of Rafa,

"Do" she placed the right leg on the other

"I" she lowered herself slowly down so she was straddling his lap

"Feel" Liv took Rafa's hands and placed them on her waist so his thumbs met at her middle and his fingertips touched her sides.

"Like?" Liv leaned in slowly so her lips were just centimeters away from Rafa's

She felt his hands squeeze and slowly move up and under the hem of her shirt. She watched as his eyes went to an Emerald green. She felt him express his desire for her underneath her and sighed happily.

Rafa stared into eyes that had turned into golden pools of amber making him think of the finest scotch he had ever drunk. He pulled Liv closer and captured her mouth with his. He knew he was being demanding as he thrust his tongue into her mouth but the way she yielded to him and moaned as he rolled his thumbs up over her nipples told him she was enjoying this. He pulled back and looked at her she bit her bottom lip and then slid her hands down his chest and when she found the bottom of his shirt she pulled it up and over his head.

Rafa smiled at her and pulled her shirt off and then slid his hands into her hair pulling her to him. He kissed her deeply, fully, giving her everything he had and then slowly dragged his teeth across her bottom lip causing her to gasp as his fingers slid down and unhooked her bra and let it fall away. He kissed and nipped his way down her neck finally savoring the gasp she made when he licked and then blew on her pert nipple.

His left hand began to massage her breast while his mouth began to kiss and suck at the other. After a while, he switched sides only to find when he did Liv lowered her head and bit him lightly at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He gasped in pleasure and Liv laughed as she began to nip at his chest. She could feel his desire growing with every touch and she wanted to know what he would feel like, would taste like.

Pulling back, she slid slightly off Rafa's lap so she could begin trailing her kisses and nips slowly lower. She reached his waist and looked up and met his eyes as she let her fingers slowly undo his belt. She moved her hands carefully over his skin and let her fingertips slip just underneath the waistband of his one-legged jeans, her eyes never leaving his, as she undid his button and lowered the zipper.

Without a word between them. Rafa stood and Liv pulled his pants down in one motion removing his boxer-briefs with them, and letting them sit in a pool on the floor. She came forward her eyes no longer on his face. She licked her lips as she saw him in front of her standing tall and proud.

"please." He whispered to her and she slid her hand slowly up his knee across his thigh and slowly wrapped around his length. At her first touch he twitched and her fingers got just a little moist. She smiled at his instant reaction to her and tightened her grip. Slowly she began to move her hand up and down his length. She enjoyed how long and firm and thick he was. She realized she was getting wet just by holding him in her hand and imagining what it would feel like if he were inside of her.

When she couldn't wait a second longer she leaned in and took just the tip in her mouth. He was salty and sweet at the same time she sighed around his tip and felt him quiver. Liv looked up at Rafa from her position between his legs and saw pure delight and joy on his face. Keeping eye contact with him Liv lowered her mouth further taking as much of him in as she could and being shocked at just how much there was. When she couldn't swallow any more she let her tongue swirl around him as though he were a lollipop she just had to taste every piece of. Slowly she began to lift her head twisting as she came and hearing his gasp as she did. She repeated this several more times, then switched and held Rafa tight at his base and pretend he was an ice cream cone and lick him from bottom to top and top to bottom over and over again. She knew that by holding him tightly at his base he wouldn't be able to finish before she wanted him to.

"LIV" Rafa growled finally his hands grabbing for her.

Liv laughed as she let go of him and slid back up to straddle him and kiss him and let him release some of his passion. She didn't expect the reaction she got though. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and demanded dominance. His hands sunk into her hair and held her tightly to him as he took complete control.

Pulling back, he looked at her his green eyes flashing, "My turn" he said and leaned into her causing her to instinctively lean back. Since they were on the couch and there was nothing behind Liv, Rafa grabbed her and turned so she landed on her back on the couch. He quickly pulled her leggings off and ran a hand down her body from cleavage to thighs.

He leaned over her and began sucking on her breast while rolling the other nipple between his fingers. He could feel the tiny nub getting harder and harder. He switched and repeated his ministrations but this time he didn't stop until he heard Liv's breath start to change then he began to pepper kisses down her chest and stomach. When he got to her belly button he stopped and looked up at her, he waited until she looked at him and then when he knew she was watching he laid his hand on top of her and slowly turned it until she could feel his fingertips at her opening.

Liv arched her back trying to help, but Rafa smiling didn't give her want she wanted. Instead he pushed his palm down and moved over her little nub causing her to gasp. He smiled and then wiggled the tip of his middle finger at her opening, just barely touching the skin. Liv moaned in need. Rafa pulled his finger back and ran his hands over the inside of her thighs causing Liv to unconsciously spread her legs wider. Slowly Rafa, returned his hand to her center and applied more pressure to her aching nub, "Rafa" Liv breathed "Please"

Smiling Rafa let his finger roll her nub slowly in a circle and then slide down across her skin. Liv felt as though she might explode right then, her skin was on fire. He slid his middle finger in between the warm folds of her skin and into her tightness. She immediately clamped down on him and for a second Rafa was afraid she might break his finger. Slowly he began to pull his finger out and then slide it back in and as he did he felt her wetness surround him. After a few times he slid in a second finger and then a third and then he let his thumb play with her nub while his fingers slid in and out of her until he felt her tightening harder and harder around him.

He pushed in two times hard and suddenly his hand was wet and he could hear Liv gasping for air as her whole body clenched and tightened and then released. "Rafa." she whispered as she slowly came back down.

"Mas mi Amor?" Rafa whispered as he watched Liv's orgasm wash over her. He enjoyed seeing how she experienced it in every part of her body. He could look in her eyes and see how it affected her.

Still breathing heavily, Liv nodded and replied, "Si." Then smiled as she realized the name he'd called her.

Liv watched as Rafa licked each of his fingers in turn, "Te conozco ahora, Livia." And then kissed her lightly on the lips, slowly deepening the kiss letting her taste herself. Finally breaking away he whispered in her ear, "Quiero mas de ti." His warm breath made her shiver as he nipped her ear lobe and then began to nip and kiss his way down her side.

When he returned to her center he placed a soft kiss and then shifted his head to the side and kissed the inside of her thigh and finished with a small nip. Liv felt herself automatically arch towards Rafa. He kissed her again moving away from her center and closer to her knee. Liv moaned and arched more towards him.

"Tell me." Rafa whispered as he kissed the back of Liv's knee.

"Pruebame" Liv whispered and felt herself blush.

Rafa nearly growled with desire and leaned into Liv and blew warm air on her center, before lowering his lips onto her nub and sucked. "Like this?"

"more" Liv said

Rafa slipped his tongue from his mouth and ran it over and between her folds, lapping up all of her juices.

"More"

Smiling into her core Rafa dragged his teeth over her nub as he pushed his tongue as deep into Liv as he could and rolled it around explore her wonderous cavern and dragged his teeth across her folds and then back to her nub over and over again.

"RAFA!" Liv Shouted as legs clamped tight around him holding his head tight into her as he tasted her and nipped at her and played with her. He brought up a hand and began to rub her between his fingers so he could focus his mouth right where she wanted him. He felt her begin to buck up under him. Her breathing was becoming ragged and she was squeezing him harder and harder. He slid a finger into her along with his tongue and almost instantly felt her tighten around him and cum hard his finger and mouth were covered in the salty juice that she was giving him.

Liv's legs collapsed and Rafa pulled his head back and looked at Liv. "Ok?" he asked testing his jaw

"Damn Rafa!" Liv said as she lay on her back shaking "I think I'm having aftershocks!"

"That's good right?"

"Wanna find out?"

"Really?"

Liv smiled and then straddled Rafa her body was still quaking slightly from her two previous orgasms when she lined herself up over his still impressive member and lowered herself down. Gasping she paused and felt Rafa grab her hips and look at her.

"You're big."

Rafa's chest swelled slightly at the compliment and he held himself very still and let Liv set the pace. She took a breath and then lowered her lips to Rafa's and at the same moment lowered herself the rest of the way onto him. She felt her eyes shut at the feel of him filling her, stretching her. She'd never known that she could feel full like this and enjoy it. She let Rafa lead the kiss as she slowly began to rock her hips and enjoy the sensations of him so deep inside her.

Breaking the kiss, she placed her hands on his shoulders and began to slide up and down Rafa's length slowly at first. Just a little and then more and more, faster and faster she could feel him responding to their movements deep inside her. He would twitch or shift inside of her and she could feel it and it would set off another mini orgasm it was like he had made her entire body hyper sensitive. She wondered if every time would be like this.

She could hear Rafa's breathing getting ragged he was struggling to keep from finishing but Liv didn't want this to end yet. "Ahora." She heard Rafa say in a ragged breath. "Corazon"

Liv leaned back again and helped Rafa balance above her without either of them losing their grip on each other.

"Ahora" Liv said as she wrapped her legs tight around Rafa's back as he began to lead them through this final moment. She felt him speeding up pushing into her harder, faster, deeper, and then suddenly she felt her eyes roll back in her head as her whole body arched towards his and she gasped, "RAFA!"

It was all he needed. The sound of his name on her lips in that moment and he spilled himself deep into her. "Mi Livia." He whispered into her ear as he finished. As his body collapsed on top of hers he added "Te amo mi Livia, te amo."


	21. Chapter 21

As his breathing came back to normal, Rafa rolled over so that Liv was between him and the back of the couch. Liv reached behind her and pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and tossed it over the two of them and snuggled herself into Rafa's embrace, her head just under his chin. Rafa ran his fingers slowly up and down Liv's spine as he held her in his arms.

"Liv" Rafa said while at the same time she said

"Rafa"

They laughed lightly and Liv shifted slightly to look up at Rafa's face. Rafa ran his knuckles lightly down her cheek and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I meant every word I said to you Olivia." Rafa said. He stilled his hands and shifted so he was on his side and all his weight was on his broken leg. He looked at Olivia, green eyes meeting brown, "I'm in love with you Olivia Margaret Benson. I have been for a very long time."

Liv felt a lump form in her throat. She been told and had told others she'd loved them in the past but this felt different. Somehow this time she knew this was the last person she would ever confess her love to. Slowly she cupped Rafael's cheek she let her fingers slide into his hair and she felt as though she were touching him for the first time. "I love you Rafa." She whispered and a single tear slid down her cheek.

Rafa touched the tear lightly with the pad of his thumb and brushed it gently away. "Liv?" he asked afraid

She shook her head and then rested it on his chest for a moment and pulled herself together. "After Lewis, I never saw this as a real possibility. Relationships, sure. Love with someone who not only knew everything but loved me through all of it, because of it, no. That person would be a true partner, friend and lover; an equal. I always thought anyone who got too close would see my damage and pull away before they got too involved."

"You are not damaged Liv." Rafa said wrapping his arms around her and holding her to him. "Yes, you have been to hell and fought your way back. You are the strongest person I have ever known. It's just one of the things I love about you. I'm not pulling back, I'm not stepping away. If you'll let me I want to just keep stepping closer and becoming more involved with you and Noah and your lives, our lives."

Liv looked up at Rafa and smiled. Rafa waited watching her and smiled back as he saw the smile reach her eyes as he felt her relax in his arms again. He felt her walls drop again. She didn't have to answer him. He knew her answer.


	22. Chapter 22

"Mommy!" Noah yelled as they stepped into Serendipity. He broke away from Amanda, Carisi, Jesse and Billie to run at Liv full force.

Laughing Liv dropped down and caught Noah. "Did you have a good weekend sweet boy?"

"It was awesome!" Noah said barely standing still. Tugging on his Mothers hand he said, "C'mon we're gonna have lunch!"

Rafael followed a step behind not wanting to overstep by wanting to be involved in the joy and excitement that was Noah. As they got to the table Noah sat next to Jesse and then looked over and said, "Uncle Rafa? Will you sit next to me?"

Rafael smiled, "Of course." He breathed a tiny bit easier. Even though he knew Noah didn't know anything had changed between him and Liv, it felt better seeing that Noah still wanted him around.

Liv sat on his other side and quietly took his hand under the table and gave it a small squeeze. She had been able to read his nervous energy as soon as they got out of the taxi and was glad he was feeling more at ease.

As they ate the adults talked and the two older children giggled while occasionally playing with their food sometimes even eating a bite.

"What is so funny you two?" Amanda asked after her fifth time trying to get Jesse to take a bite of her burger.

Jesse looked at Noah and whispered, "You say it."

Noah giggled and said, "It was your idea, you say it."

Jesse just shook her head and stuck out her tongue at Noah. The four adults looked at each other intrigued at what drama the two kids had cooked up this time.

"Noah?" Rafa said "What is the idea?"

Noah looked at Jesse and then leaned over and whispered in Rafa's ear. "Oh, I see. Have you ever been to one?"

Both kids shook their heads no. "That would make it harder wouldn't it?"

"That's where Jesse's idea came in." Noah said aloud and then whispered into Rafa's ear the rest of the plan. "That I think is something your mom's would need to know about."

Jesse looked up and said, "Told ya."

"Won't they get mad?" Noah asked

"I wouldn't think so." Rafa answered looking around the table at 3 expectant faces, "I think it might make them happy."

Noah looked at Jesse and said, "I'll tell my half but you gotta tell your half."

Jesse broke out in a huge grin and said, "Deal." And then kissed Noah on the cheek.

"ewwww Jesse." Noah said and rubbed away the kiss.

Rafa looked over at the other adults and tried hard to hide his smile. "Ok Noah, you first." He slid his hand into Liv's under the table.

"My idea is that Jesse and I get married and we can have a great big wedding at Disney World like on the TV. Then Mickey and Minnie and everyone can come." Noah said in one very fast breath and the he looked at his mom. "Is that ok?"

Liv squeezed Rafa's hand hard trying not to burst out with laughter. "I think that's a great idea but you need to graduate college first. Ok?"

Jesse and Noah looked at each other, nodded and then said at the same time, "ok."

"Jesse?" Amanda asked suddenly very curious, "What is your half of this idea?"

"We don't know what a wedding looks like cause we've never seen a whole one. So we think, "

"Hey!" Noah interjected

"Ok, ok. I think you and Uncle Sonny should have a wedding and Aunt Liv and Uncle Rafa should and then Noah and I can be in the weddings and we can also have Daddy's, like Billie."

Liv looked carefully at Noah when Jesse mentioned Daddy's but said nothing. Noah was looking at Jesse, and nodding. Liv squeezed Rafa's hand and he looked at her. He knew what she was thinking but neither wanted to say it.

"Baby." Amanda said, "Those are some pretty big plans."

"I think Uncle Rafa is right" Sonny added, "Mama and I would need to talk before we could agree to all of your plans."

"You love Mama. You love me. You love Billie. We all love you. If you get married we can be a family and live together and be happy and Billie and I can both have dad's then." Jesse said matter of factly to Sonny. "I know you love us. I know it." Jesse's lower lip began to tremble as she added the last two lines.

Sonny got up and around the table and pulled Jesse into his arms. "I do Jesse. Never ever doubt that. You three girls are everything to me. I love you more than my mothers spaghetti."

"More than chocolate ice cream?" Jesse asked in what was clearly a routine between the two.

"More than all the ice cream in the world."

"Please be my Daddy." Jesse said and laid her head on Sonny's shoulder and let the last of her tears fall warm into his neck.

Sonny looked helplessly at Amanda as he stood up. "I think maybe we need to talk." Amanda said softly laying a hand on Jesse's back.

"Go." Said Liv

As they left Rafael paid the check as Liv turning to Noah said, "Do you feel like Jesse does?"

Noah shrugged and said, "I don't know. Can we go to the park?"

"Sure." Answered Liv and the trio left the restaurant without even having had dessert.


	23. Chapter 23

As the three got to the park Noah ran ahead and immediately began to climb the jungle gym. He climbed his favorite tower until he was seated in the topmost part and pretended he was in the crow's nest on a pirate ship. He looked out through the holes in the metal sides and realized he could still see his Mom and Uncle Rafa from way up here.

"Hi Mommy!" he called his fingers peeking through the hole. Another mom closer than his turned and waved. His mom must be too far away he thought as he watched as she and Uncle Rafa sat on the bench facing each other and talked quietly. Mommy was smiling but it was a funny smile, one he'd never seen before, and she kept tilting her head while she talked.

Uncle Rafa reached out and pushed a strand of Mommy's hair back behind her ear and Mommy stopped his hand and held it against her face. Noah felt funny watching that. Mommy shut her eyes as she leaned her head into Uncle Rafa's hand and Noah wanted to run down to them but he couldn't figure if it was because he wanted to stop them or because he wanted to be with them.

He kept watching and after a while Mommy laughed at something Uncle Rafa said and then slipped her hand into his, the same way Jesse held his hand. Jesse said Uncle Sonny and Aunt Manda did that all the time when they thought no one was looking. Jesse said it's what grown-ups did when they like each other.

Noah thought about what Jesse had been saying lately. Jesse was the smartest girl he knew and she wanted a Daddy. She loved Uncle Sonny and said he was a good almost Daddy. Noah thought about that and admitted it was true. Uncle Sonny was pretty awesome at Dad stuff. He looked at his mom and Uncle Rafa and thought but Uncle Rafa is so much cooler and he speaks Spanish and dances.

Uncle Fin and Uncle Elliot were both Dad's and Grandpa's and they were good guys. Mommy said she trusted both of them with her life. She said they had both saved her many times and saved lots of kids too. Uncle Nick had moved all the way to California to be closer to his kids, didn't that mean he had to be a good Dad? Could Sara's Dad really be the only bad Dad he knew he wondered.

What if Mommy did get married, would she love him less? She was always so busy, maybe she'd be even more busy. Uncle Rafa always had time for him but he had a broken leg. What happened when he got better? Did he stay? Did he go? Did Abuela go? Would Uncle Rafa go back to Texas to save more little kids? The more he thought the more questions he had. Noah began to feel overwhelmed and suddenly he didn't know what to do. He threw his hands over his mouth and screamed until there was nothing left to scream.

He sat there on the hard lattice, panting, when he heard Mommy calling up to him, "Noah! Noah! Are you ok? Noah answer me! What happened? Noah!"

Noah swallowed and looked down through the metal, "I'm better now Mommy."

"Get down here please." Mommy said trying hard to keep her temper.

Noah gulped, he knew he had upset her. "I'm sorry." He said as he slid down the long fireman's pole.

"I think maybe we should head home and talk about whatever just happened." Liv said softly as she bent to hug her young son.

"Ok." Noah said and took her hand suddenly feeling the need to be closer to her.

As they got to the path Uncle Rafa caught up to them, "Que bola Acere?"

Noah stopped and looked at his favorite uncle and then down at his feet and scuffed his toe into the walkway.

"Noah?" Rafa said and the little boy looked up, "I think I have an idea what happened. May I guess?" When Noah nodded Rafa continued, "You started to have a lot of feelings all at once and a lot of thoughts all at once and it all became too much and it just exploded out?"

Noah's eyes got huge and round and he looked at Uncle Rafa, "How did you know?"

"I used to have the same thing happen when I was your age. Us smart guys have that problem. We just have to learn how to manage it."

"Did you?"

"Most of the time."

"Wow!" Noah breathed suddenly very impressed

"Now let's go home so you and Mommy can talk about what caused this explosion and then figure out how she can help you."

"Si! Gracias Tio."

"De nada…" Rafa opened his mouth and then stopped before finishing his sentence as he realized the word he was about to say wasn't Noah or nephew.

Once home Rafael turned and said, "I'll be in the other room if you need me for anything."

"No." said Noah firmly

Liv and Rafa turned and looked at him. "No?" they said in unison

"I think I want both of you."

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed and afraid he'd mess up like he nearly did on the walk back Rafa looked at Liv nervously but she smiled at him encouragingly and he replied, "of course, Noah."

The three got settled in the living room Noah sat in the big comfy chair so he could watch the two adults.

"I don't think all Daddy's are bad." Noah said

Liv smiled, "I'm glad to hear that."

"I think Uncle Sonny should be Jesse's dad."

"I don't think any of us get a say in that." Rafa said smiling

"Do I get a say in who my dad is?"

Liv blinked slowly and Rafa swallowed hard. They looked at each other briefly. "Yes." Liv answered, "I would never marry someone who you didn't think would be a good father to you. You are the most important person in my life."

"Why do you two hold hands?"

"It's nice to feel close to someone." Rafa said "Especially someone you care about."

"Do you kiss?"

"Why?" Liv asked

"If you kiss you should get married."

"Why?" asked Rafa suddenly very intrigued

"Because Jesse saw her mom kiss Billie's dad and then a few weeks later Aunt Manda said she was gonna have a baby. So you should get married if you're gonna have a baby."

Rafa turned to Liv and trying very hard to keep a straight face said, "all yours dear."

"quiet." Liv hissed

"Noah, we'll talk about where babies come from another time, but for right now, just know that Uncle Rafa and I are not going to have a baby together."

"Why?"

Liv took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Mommy's not able to have a baby. I can only adopt."

Noah nodded as he thought about that. "Does that mean Uncle Rafa is gonna leave?"

"No. Of course not. Why would it?" Rafael asked

"Mommy's can't kiss you, people who are holding hands are always kissing. You and Mommy hold hands. I saw you."

Rafa turned to Liv "Makings of a lawyer this one." Turning back to Noah he said, "If your Mother wanted to kiss me should could. She has the ability to and I would not stop her." Rafael turned and looked at Liv and then smiled at her deciding to take a leap, "I love you Mommy very much Noah." He turned and looked at the little boy. "If your Mommy said it were ok I would kiss her, but only if she gave me permission."

Noah chewed on his bottom lip then said softly, "Mommy loves you too Uncle Rafa."

Rafa leaned in towards Noah and whispered, "I know. She told me."

Noah smiled a huge smile.

"Want to know something else?" Rafa asked when Noah nodded he added, "I love you very much too."

"I love you too." Noah said and scooted over to the sofa and threw his arms around Rafa.

"Please don't go back to Texas. Please stay with me and Mommy." Noah whispered in Rafa's ear.

"We'll work on that." Rafa said softly as he held the little boy in his arms and then finally let himself say the word that had been in his heart for a long time when he thought of Noah, "Mijo"


	24. Chapter 24

Several weeks had passed and Rafael had finally gotten his cast off and was down to a walking brace and a cane. He felt much more normal. He decided to celebrate by picking Noah up from school and walking home with him.

"Hi!" Said Noah excitedly as he said Uncle Rafa in the line up of parents waiting outside of the school! "Where's Lucy?"

"I asked Lucy to let me pick you up today." Rafa said, "Is that ok?"

"Uh huh." Noah said. "Look no cast."

"I know." Rafa answered "but now I have a cool cane."

Noah laughed and said, "How is a cane cool?"

"You can use one when you dance and it becomes very cool."

"Show me!"

"I don't think I'm quite there yet. Soon."

"Can we go to the park on the way home? I don't have a lot of homework tonight."

"What do you have?"

"Just math, spelling, grammar, and history."

"That's about 2 hours, plus dinner, a bath, story time and I was hoping you could help me with something." Rafa said doing some quick math.

"Really? What?"

"I want to buy something for your Mommy, if it's ok with you."

"Sure."

"You should ask what it is first."

"Ok what is it?" Noah asked laughing

"I want to buy her an engagement ring. If it's ok with you I'd like to ask her to be my wife."

Noah nodded and then stopped and thought for a moment. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Well, it means that we would have a wedding and promise to be together forever. I would live with the two of you and I would be your step-father."

Noah thought a moment and then said, "No. That won't work."

Rafa swallowed hard. He thought he'd prepared himself for this possibility but hearing it broke his heart. He sat down on the step of the brownstone they were passing and asked, "Why?" trying hard not to let his emotions come through his voice.

"I don't want you to be my step-dad or half-dad or part-time dad. I want you to be my full time forever dad."

Rafa tried to breath but it was strangled by all the emotion he was feeling. "Oh." He finally said.

He thought for a moment and then said, "Noah. Step-dad is just a title. It's legal mumbo-jumbo."

Laughing Noah said "You're a lawyer and you said legal mumbo- jumbo."

"I did mijo. I need you to know I would like nothing more than to be your full time forever dad. It's something your Mom and I could even talk about more if you want."

"I want."

"No matter what happens Noah I want you to remember something." Rafa felt his emotions taking over and gave in to them. "Tu eres mi hijo. Te quiero mucho y hare lo que sea por ti."

"I love you too Papi." Noah said and wrapped his arms around his Daddy.


End file.
